Yvonne's profileஐYou never know what wil...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
ஐYou never know what will happen with a little......October 11 Tickle Test*YvOnNe*, a Romantic Gesture turns you on
Hey there, sweet thing! In affairs of the heart, your pulse pounds at the tender and enchanting moments. While you may not have it all mapped out just yet, the fairytale ending is what you're after and romantic gestures are a sure way to give you butterflies. It might be sweet notes, a bubble bath for two, a surprise getaway to your favorite B&B, or even just an extra spin around the block listening to your favorite love song. Whatever it is, romantic moments (and the thoughts behind them) turn you on. Sure, brains are important, a sense of humor is attractive, and you never said there was anything wrong with sexy underthings, but it's how your partner expresses their feelings for you that really lights your fire. How romantic! August 08 Stupid BlondHomer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was now on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump? "Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump" The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money. July 12 Coors BeerA bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and took a seat at the bar.
She ordered up a Coors and sat there drinking for a while. Suddenly, the woman passed out cold on the stool.
The bartender had a sudden thought, and so he cautiously looked around.
Seeing that no one was around, he closed up the bar, and took advantage of the situation. The next night, the bartender was, again, working the late shift, but some of his friends stopped by, so he told them about the previous night and his good time with the blonde woman.
All of a sudden, the blonde walks in again. The bartender motions to his friends that she is the same lady.
The blonde sits down at the bar and orders another Coors. Eventually, she passes out. The bartender closes up shop, and him and all his friends take their turns.
The next night, the bartender is working the late shift. His friends show up, with all of their friends, and so there is a huge crowd in the bar.
The woman walks in again, orders a Coors, drinks it, and then passes out. So, the bartender closes up shop, and everyone has a turn.
The next night, even more people are waiting at the bar. The woman walks in and orders a Budweiser.
The bartender, his plans foiled, asks, "You don't want the usual?"
She looks at him for a minute and shakes her head. "No. Coors makes my pussy sore!" Smart WomenWOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Busines s Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. WOMEN'S REVENGE "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigare ttes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!) WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of m ules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everyt hing to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and th en we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need h is wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't waken ed him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a July 08 Bumper StickersBumper Stickers You Would Like To See
OUT DRINKIN WITH THE LADY FRIENDSImagine that you go out one night to a really nice bar with your friends and have a few cocktails They taste good, so you have a few more and then the DJ puts on 'I Will Survive,' so you're off on the dance floor After an hour or so, when 'Heart of Glass' has finished, and more modern music comes on You notice a group of men standing nearby and one of them is looking at you. You look back at him YOU buy him a drink. He likes a woman who is not afraid to buy a man a drink. He approaches you to chat and you get on really well. When the time seems perfect for both of you, he leans over and kisses you You have never been kissed like this before, an electric kiss and "I don't usually do this sort of thing," you hear yourself saying, "but I've never felt like this before. Do you want to come back to my place?" You wake up the next morning, and you roll out of bed, half-asleep You look at yourself in the mirror As you're sitting there, vivid flashes of what would seem like a marathon sex session flicker back into your head and you remember that you fell in love last night With a smile on your face and see... THAT'S JUST WRONG That would make you quit drinking and sober up in a hurry June 28 : )Paul
Sooo,
Americas national animal is the Bald Eagle,
and Canada's national is the Beaver.
So what happens when Canada and The USA merge.
We get the Bald Beaver!!!!
Ha Ha! I loved it when I herd it. I had to share it with you all.
Good one Paul!! May 30 sex and the city
Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away. Samantha: Men, they may have you on your knees, but you've got them by the balls. Charlotte: Is it safe to buy pot from strangers? Carrie: What do you want? May 16 ***Your Blog Should Be Yellow***
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyourblogorjournalbequiz/ May 11 I want somebody who...I want somebody who...
I want somebody who can make me laugh. I want somebody who can make me cry. I want somebody who can make me angry. I want somebody who can be silent but is saying everything. I want somebody who’s favorite sound is my voice. I want somebody who’s favorite sound is my silence. I want somebody that will follow me to the edge of the world but won't let me jump off. I want somebody that will hold my hand when I do jump off. I want somebody who knows what I’m thinking without even wondering. I want somebody who is mystified by me. I want somebody who appreciates the tiniest crease in my hand. I want somebody who understands what I’m saying when I’m saying nothing at all. I want somebody who knows how to sing me a love song. I want somebody who can close his eyes and feel my pain when I feel no pain at all. I want somebody who can kiss my tears and make them into rainbows. I want somebody who can hold me and let me melt into his body. I want somebody who can kiss me and take my breath away. I want somebody who can be happy just holding my hand. I want somebody who at the thought, sight, sound, touch of me makes his stomach flip. I want somebody who has to clutch his stomach in aching from laughing at the most slight of jokes. I want somebody who can't stop talking about me. I want somebody who keeps me his biggest secret. I want somebody who knows I’m his most amazing fantasy. I want somebody who knows I’m not just a somebody. I want somebody who can challenge me. I want someone whose eyes show me everything and nothing all at the same time. I want somebody who always calls when he says he will. I want somebody who calls when he says he won’t. I want somebody who forgets to call when he says he will. I want somebody unbelievably romantic. I want somebody completely unromantic. I want somebody who doesn’t bite their nails. I want somebody who sneaks a couple of bites in from time to time but always gets caught. I want somebody who electrocutes me with his touch. I want somebody who puts me on fire with his fingertips. I want somebody who doesn't know how to love. I want somebody who loves from the bottom of his heart. I want somebody who’s had all the problems in the world and gotten through them. I want somebody with baggage. I want somebody who knows how to live each and every second. I want somebody who doesn’t realize that the seconds have passed. I want somebody who cuddles in the morning. I want somebody who will be late for work just to watch me sleep a few more seconds. I want somebody who doesn’t understand the little things. I want somebody who understands the big things. I want somebody who never sees the bad. I want somebody who can detect the bad before it happens. I want somebody who stops the bad before it happens. I want somebody who lets the bad happen. I want somebody who works harder then he plays. I want somebody who plays harder then he works. I want somebody who can never find a balance. I want somebody who always has a balance. I want somebody who needs me more then he understands. I want somebody who I confuse. I want somebody who needs me more then I need myself. I want somebody who I need more then I understand. I want somebody who's eyes water with fear. I want somebody who lets himself be afraid. I want somebody who's never afraid. I want somebody who will be my hero. I want somebody who lets themselves go. I want somebody who isn’t afraid to get blown over. I want sombody who wants me. I want somebody who doesn’t know who he is. I want somebody who......
Is You! May 09 SHAKIRA LYRICS"Don't Bother" She's got the kind of look that defies gravity She's the greatest cook And she's fat free She's been to private school And she speaks perfect French She's got the perfect friends Oh isn't she cool She pratices Tai Chi She'd never lose her nerve She's more than you deserve She's just far better than me Hey hey So don't bother I won't die of deception I promise you won't ever see me cry Don't feel sorry And don't bother I'll be fine But she's waiting The ring you gave to her will lose its shine So don't bother, be unkind I'm sure she doesn't know How to touch you like I would I beat her at that one good Don't you think so? She's almost 6 feet tall She must think I'm a flea I'm really a cat you see And it's not my last life at all Hey hey So don't bother I won't die of deception I promise you won't ever see me cry Don't feel sorry Don't bother I'll be fine But she's waiting The ring you gave to her will lose its shine So don't bother, be unkind For you, I'd give up all I own And move to a communist country If you came with me, of course And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you And lose those pounds, and learn about football If it made you stay, but you won't, but you won't So don't bother, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine Promise you won't ever see me cry And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type Promise you won't ever see me cry So don't bother, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine Promise you won't ever see me cry And after all I'm glad that I'm not your type, not your type, not your type, not your type Promise you won't ever see me cry May 04 JuSt BcUz....
April 29 One for the ladies
April 25 What's Your Kinky Turn On?
What's Your Kinky Turn On?  created with QuizFarm.com A message
April 18 ********************************************//_ask me why I keep on xx.loving.xx when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for -|[me]|- The [problem] is that as much as I can't [force] you to *love* me, I can't force //_myself_\\ to stop || loving || you
●●● -|[♥]|- ●●●
Fucked up
Fuck what you want me to do
Fuck what you want me to be
Fuck everything that you've taught me
All the breaths you've made me breathe.
Fuck all of you wankers
Who think you know best
Fuck all the lies
All the fucked up times
That I believed all your excuses
Fuck you and your "truths".
Fuck all the times I trusted you
All the times I ignored what was there
In plain fucking sight
Fuck you and your [care].
Fuck you and your criticism
I'll never fucking change
Why won't you ever realize
That your shame is causing pain?
Why cant you fucking notice
That I live how I please
Quit telling me I'm useless
I have my own fucking dreams!
Fuck sticking around
To see how this ends
Fuck all the arguments
These wounds will never fucking mend.
Fuck your rules
Fuck everything that you stand for
Don't tell me I'm being stupid
Don't tell me I'm seeking view
Get it through your fucking head...
You've made me fucking hate you!
Fuck every single second
Fuck every fucking lie
Get fucked
So long
Goodbye. April 12 Because Im a man-how true! Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling CAA is not an option. I will win. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and fart, as a form of holy communion. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly). Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. And if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest......like wandering around in the garden with a cold beer wondering what to do. This has been a public service message for women to better understand men. GST"Do you know what GST stands for?" She said, "No." He said, "It means Good Sex Tonight." She said, "Oh, really." He said, "Yeah, what are my chances?" She said, "About 7%."
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding April 04 Nun In A Bar
February 27 check this outhttp://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1140791816/Beat_Box "According to a new survey,
' 90% of men say their lover
is also their best friend.
Which is really kind of disturbing
when you consider man’s best
friend is his dog."
-Jay Leno
According to a "Cosmo” poll, 13% of
all men admit they’ve tried on a bra. The sad part, 43% of American men actually need one. February 21 sadOne night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. The girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it : "Without your love, I would die. |
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts
You're a cheerful, upbeat blogger who tends to make everyone laugh.
|
|
